PORNO POWER

By Steven Audia
Published by Espace Art Actuel
2023

The first time I can clearly remember seeing a nude photograph was when I was twelve years old. It was 2005 and I was in 7th grade at an all-boys private catholic school. I'm sure there were other moments leading up to this in which I was exposed to nudity; however, this was the first time the idea that an image could be particularly erotic or arousing was presented to me. The school was separated into two wings; elementary and senior, and come 7th grade we made the change from being kids in elementary, to being young men in high school. With this transition, at a time when hormones were kicking in and sexualities were being discovered, our class was allowed access to the previously forbidden upper floors, and areas like the senior library. One day at lunch hour there was a rush into the library where I often spent my time hiding from the other boys. They all huddled around a book in one of the far back rows. I was ushered over and shown a full-page image of a nude woman.

The book was a national geographic compilation of grainy, high contrast, black and white photographs from the 60s or 70s of traditional cultures in Africa. The specific image that had everyone in an absolute frenzy was a portrait of a woman holding a basket over her head, a proud toothy smile on her face and her enormous breasts completely exposed to the blazing sun. The boys made lude comments as they ran their fingers across the page. I remember looking at the image and thinking there was nothing objectively sexy, or pornographic about it. I was, and am, extremely gay. A fact that was blatantly obvious to everyone except myself at the time. I played along trying to blend in, but what fascinated me the most was the immense power that the nude female form had over these boys. They were completely helpless to the draw of this woman's nude body, and subconsciously I think the idea of that power has never left me. It’s something I have always tried to bring into my work and allow my subjects to embody.

I wouldn't pick up a camera for a few more years, but at fifteen when I finally did, I became obsessed with photographing my friends. I wanted to capture their spirit, their relationship to themselves and the way that we were all quickly changing into adults. I was extremely lucky that most of my female friends were not only comfortable on camera but loved being photographed clothed. They would let me dress them up and give them roles to assume. In other parts of my life, I had very little control, especially in the way my peers perceived and interacted with me. When I was behind the camera however, I was in control, and it was up to me to create what was happening in the frame. The characters and stories I created in these images made me feel empowered, and I felt that my subjects shared this feeling. By the time I was eighteen I had become very comfortable behind a camera and with directing my subjects. When the time came to be allowed to experiment with nudity in images, my friends were more than happy to oblige, and I've spent the better part of my adult life since attempting to finesse my fascination with the human body, sexuality and photography into a career. 

Upon reflection I now realize that perhaps my gaze and projection has been problematic. As the female body is in a never-ending cycle of being constantly exploited, criticized and exhausted, I've attempted to reinterpret the mostly oppressive heterosexual male gaze through what I hope is a progressive queer lens. As a gay man, I feel safe around women and always want to create a secure environment on set for my subjects to feel the same. I strive to be objective about the sexuality presented in front of me on a shoot. While I enjoy photographing people of all gender expressions, images of men often take on a more lustful eye, while women become beacons of power and liberation.

For a long time, I wanted my subjects' imperfections and realities to break through the surface connotation of their form and sexuality. My intention was to expose the truth behind facades of flesh; exploring the corporeal form not just as a bodily landscape but as a sexual, living and spiritual vessel. I am drawn to make these types of images above all others. To be female, nude, in front of a camera, and be seen with such permanent scrutiny, fills me with envy for what I will never be in this life. It allows me to embody aspects of the divine feminine that exist within myself.

Fast forward to 2022, and the clientele of the photography business I had been running was beginning to split. On one side, I was doing safe commercial work that did not inspire me but kept regular paychecks coming in. On the other side, I was doing increasingly more risqué work, often with sex workers, who were commissioning me to make images of them for their Onlyfans, and private albums for clients. I decided to start Studio X, an entirely new business, creating imagery with the needs of sex workers, escorts, strippers, entertainers and adult content creators in mind. 

This put me at a crossroads and forced me to confront my own values, learned biases about sex work, and what it means to be confident in your sexuality and self-image. As an artist, I always wanted to photograph people exactly as they are, show every flaw, pore and unshaved hair. I thought that if I presented people with this truth they would grow to love themselves in their most natural form. I resisted retouching and photoshopping my images and shot portraits exclusively on film to preserve that rawness.

When I started Studio X, I had to rewrite my rules about what it meant to feel empowered through imagery, and how I can serve my clients while doing something I love. The real artistry for me now comes in creating a comfortable, safe and fun environment for my clients to express themselves, and leave feeling powerful. The clients I now work with are selling a fantasy, an alter ego. They want to look flawless, airbrushed from head to toe, with not a single hair out of place and I'm happy to be able to provide that for them. I love seeing my clients come in in their sweatpants, meeting the day-to-day them, and then witnessing them transform into commanding sexual beings. They know they are presenting something of high value that demands a high price tag, so why should they expect anything less than a polished final product?

One shoot in particular over the last year has felt like the culmination of all these ideas. I photographed an old friend, Berlin, after the completion of her full gender affirmation surgeries. I have known them since I was eighteen and have watched their journey from male to female identification unfold in front of my eyes. I have seen how much work, pain and trauma they have endured to become the person they have always wanted to be. To be the first person to photograph the naked body they've always dreamed of was an honour. The raw photos that show their scars and not-quite-healed areas have their own specific beauty to them. But why, after all they have gone through to create who they have always wanted to be, would I not want to help them take that last little step and retouch them into their perfected final form. To me that is the power that I saw in that photograph as a twelve-year-old boy. To say this is who I am and who I want to be now – photograph me so I can show the world how fucking beautiful I am.

Steven Audia is a photographer and designer currently based out of Vancouver, Canada. He is the Owner of Studio X, a boutique photography studio that specializes in content creation for sex workers of all kinds. Through his work, he strives to create a more safe, equal, and beautiful world for people that exist outside of societal norms.